On the Border Blog

24 year old girl, current college grad, Aiming to work in social psychology. Did I mention I can be a tad uncensored, hedonistic, and have been diagnosed with BPD & Bipolar type II?

I dont want sex, i want the things that lead up to it. The slow kissing then the passionate kissing, then the pulling closer, the neck kisses, the grabbing, biting, heavy breathing, grinding, the pauses while you catch your breath, feeling each other. Oh my.

Then sex.



I’m laughing way too hard at awkward!Snape just standing there.

Snape is standing there like

“Oh no don’t mind me I can’t see anything that you’re doing at all because this book is so interesting and it is so close to my face that I can’t see anything other than this book right here in front of my face.”

(via spiritual-euphoria)

Di & me are back together… Got back on my birthday. Not sure if that’s healthy, only time will tell.

I’m Seeing my psych tomorrow. Been in a state of mania faaar too frequent… Followed by deep depression. Bipolar is kicking my ass. Last time I had mania like this I just had sex… All the fucking time.

Jeff was great for that. But, damnit at least Do was honest. He said he never jerks off. Only time he comes is when we do it. I’m convinced it’s due to depression. But, question is is that what I want it to be… Or is that how he naturally is? I hope it’s depression, because then it can be fixed.

I’m frustrated. I feel lost. I feel like I keep trying, pushing and wanting; the more I try the less successful attempts are.

I need affection. I need to be held, cuddled… Yea. But I need more, SO MUCH MORE. I need to feel like you want me too, instead of just going through the motions. I need to feel your need, unrestricted.

I can’t tell if I’m just someone you’re filling the time with just because you can or that’s what you feel like you should be doing, or if you actually give 2 fucks about me and want to get closer to me too.

what does it take
to be good enough
for someone to love?
because i’ve tried everything
and it seems like
i am never the one
i try so hard
to be real and
open and loving
and yet i’m
overlooked every
single time
what is so
wrong with me
that nobody
ever wants me?
everybody else
is wanted
my friends talk
for hours about
their love interests
every kind of
girl i know
has somebody that
wants them
but i sit in the corner
and glare at my phone
because i try so hard
i try so hard
and i’m never enough
for anyone
can you please
tell me how
to be wanted?

an open letter to i don’t fucking know (m.g.t)

I’m nowhere close to perfection,
and honestly, I’m not really trying.
I’m just a frustrated woman
battling a life-long identity crisis.
I feel more stable in high places,
and I’ll never be able to fully explain
the clarity in my mind when
I’m writing on rooftops.
And I want to spray paint
the phrase, “I’m trying
to be myself, but I don’t know
who I am” on the tops
of every skyscraper so
that maybe at least
the airplanes will register
that I exist.

—Existence (via blazereifpoetry)

I want a daddy/sir/master


My boyfriend isn’t interested in any of that, he doesn’t pay attention to me sexually and I’m so frustrated! I want someone to fuck me hard and rough, choke me, pull my hair, slap me. Make love to me sensually exploring every inch of my body. Protect me. Take care of me. Whyyyyy can’t I have this?!

My boyfriend neglects me and my needs too…